Women: Mindless Heart and Soul-Chapter 5: The Monsters

There are, as discussed earlier too, a variety of females. Most of them have a strange fire-and-ice effect on the heart, providing a bit of pain with a tinge of joy. They make the males neither cry nor laugh. That is the beauty of the females- they never push a male into absolute devastation. But there is an exception. There is a category of females that are called “the monsters” who are supposedly the army of females sent to earth primarily to destroy the male population.
Who are the monsters? Any female who strikes terror in the hearts of males by her very sight is a monster. The monsters are not ugly as a rule. They might be average-looking, or even good-looking in rare cases. But their demeanour suggests that they are sworn misandrists. Any male stranger is, and truly should be, terrified of approaching them. They have a mercurial nature, which tends to be destructive 9 out of 10 times. Any sign of a male presence around them excites them, turning their subtle, girly selves into the female warriors who shred males into tiny pieces.
When not in presence of males, they might be girly indeed, giggling, laughing, cracking jokes and enjoying life. Observation from afar will not reveal their true nature. They react only to the specific stimulus which is the presence of an unknown male in their immediate vicinity.
The weapons of choice for dismantling the males differ from one monster to another. But the most popular weapon has to be verbal violence. They attack their male prey by using derogatory, defamatory, piercing words supported by high decibel levels and scornful, inflammatory expression on the face. The prey is immediately subdued in most cases, retreating to his cavern where he heals and swears never to approach a monster again. Indeed, the prey may decide never to contact any female again and turn homosexual even.
Tips to seduce the kind:
It is a well known fact that monsters are control freaks. If you are able to seduce them, you will be chained and a collar will be put around your neck. You will be found tap-dancing to her tunes. So, in the interest of my brethren, I refuse to divulge any details for seducing this kind of females.

Women: Mindless Heart and Soul-Chapter 4: The Touch-me-nots

You might have come across a breed of females who can be best described by the word “girly”. They have all the traits of a typical female. If you see a female of this category, I am sure there will be tinge of pink in her appearance (if not a pretty healthy dose of it). They are known to be immensely harmful for males as they are adept at the art of ignorance. They usually ignore any male who shows even the slightest kind of attraction towards them. This might continue to a point where the male feels shattered and destroyed emotionally. This art is termed as the art of playing hard to get.
The touch-me-nots never show any signs of being attracted to males. They avoid being caught staring at males, they gossip about their males of liking in whispers and they are sly enough not to initiate any communication. They are mostly sighted in groups at public places, gossiping, giggling and inconspicuously ogling at males. These females usually lead to the jelly-leg syndrome in males, that is, when a male strives to initiate a conversation with them, he suffers jelly-legs as well as severely shaken confidence-level. These females never cooperate in “the chase”, letting the male put in the entire effort to woo them.
Typically, these females have a high ego quotient as well. Even then, they are able to form groups of like-minded females with inflated egos. This is in contrast to the norms of female-bonding, which states that no two females with inflated egos can be good friends. Therefore, this category is an anomaly to the female-kind. Also, the obsession with shopping and gossiping beats any other activity hands-down.
These females usually act in an immensely sophisticated manner, putting them out of the league of any non-confident, dumb male who does not know his way around females. They are accessible only by the alpha-males. Therefore, the pretence of sophistication is adopted primarily to ward off the unworthy suitors.
Tips to seduce the kind:
If you are one of the non-alpha males, it is better to drop the idea of seducing a touch-me-not. To seduce a touch-me-not requires an absolute gentleman. The male needs to be humorous, congenial, social, charming, alluring, physically attractive and needs to have a high EQ. That, perhaps, is the perfect package of a male if there ever was one. So, it is very very difficult to seduce the touch-me-nots. Compensate for your shortcomings in other departments. If you are lucky, she might yield.

Women: Mindless Heart and Soul-Chapter 3: The User

If there is a class of women that can wrench out the heart of males while the male smiles willingly, it is the users. These females are capable of demolishing the cardiac strong hold of any male they want, leading to severe mental and emotional trauma and a lack of self-respect that ensues from the experience. In concise words, they are capable of leaving a male crippled for life.
The users, as the name suggests, are extremely exploitative in nature. They exploit any makes they need to for their own good. They charm the males into performing whatever task they state and then discard the male, only to pick him up and charm him again at a later stage of time when they need him. The choice of males depends on the capability of the males. They will pick a male who is suited for the task at hand. Hence, a particular male maybe targeted several times if he is unfortunate enough while another male can be targeted only once.
The weapon of choice for making these males perform the desired task is charm. These females are usually attractive in terms of appearance (for example, having well-toned curvaceous body) and they make themselves appear even more tempting with their style of dressing, attitude etc. When not in need of the attention of a particular male, they give him the cold shoulder, not bothering to talk or even respond to cordial greetings from that male. But when they need that male for a task, they descend upon him, armed with their charm and tempting beauty, to enslave him for the duration of the task. The attitude of the users changes back to the cold, uncaring once the task is done.
Usually, males are clever and strong enough to break out of this vicious circle of being used and discarded, but those with less will-power are caught in it till they are destroyed completely, leading to dysfunctional love life. Those having strong will-power and previous experience with other users might be able to avoid falling in the clutches of a new user, but most males find themselves trapped in the web of some user at one point of time or another.
Tips to seduce the kind:
This kind is the easiest to seduce, provided you have what it takes. If you have the skills to perform the tasks she wants, then you can sit back, stretch your legs out on the table before you and relax because the user of your choice will come to you when she needs you. While there is a need of you, she will woo you and grant a major chunk of your fantasies. So, make hay while the sun shines.

Women: Mindless Heart and Soul-Chapter 2: The Domintrix

It is no secret that the human civilization, though always claimed to be patriarchal over major periods of time, has been controlled by women. There have been events that have proved time and again that women are the dominant force that has ushered in the biggest changes in human history (remember Troy?).
Though all women (and truly all human beings) enjoy being in the seat of dominance when it comes to their immediate environment- family, professional life etc. But there is a certain class of women who are insanely in love with their dominance. They cannot bear the thought of someone else trying to enforce different ideologies upon them. They have their own dogma and they follow it quite strictly. Any attempt to interfere with their beliefs is considered to be an intrusion on their intelligence and mental level.
The worst affected are the males that are caught in the web of such females. The males have no option but to succumb to the ideologies of these women. The males who offer resistance are mowed down ferociously- their self-respect, their confidence, their respect- everything is eroded to the extent that they feel naked morally and emotionally. The males have to be complete “yes men”, perennial slaves of the whims and fancies of these women. The males are not too different from pets, just that the pets are allowed more freedom of expression and subjected to a greater degree of love as compared to the males.
These women often resort to double standards. They give themselves quite a lot of freedom and flexibility when twisting their own ideologies to their own benefits. This freedom is also extended to other close females who are of similar nature. But the male is not allowed to make mistakes. Any mistake is deemed as intolerable and the male is subjected to severe mental thrashing. The most fascinating thing about these women is that they are always popular among males. Perhaps it is hardwired in males that they need to be dominated at some point in life, if not always.
Tips to Seduce the Kind:
Why would you want to seduce the dominatrix? It is quite clear that she can easily make your life a red-hot burning hell in no time. So, I advise you to stay away from the dominatrix if you are looking for a long term relationship. However, the dominatrix is good for the short-term relationships. And the easiest solution to winning her over is to act like a pussy. Let her dominate you, let her take the initiatives (let her kiss you first, let her ask you out to dinner etc.). Let her know that you will let her control you and your work is done.
A warning though, if you are looking for short-term relationship with a dominatrix, be sure to dump her cleanly and neatly, severing any connections she has with your life, because a vengeful dominatrix is bad for your health.

Women: Mindless Heart and Soul-Chapter 1: Scissor-Tongues

As I said in the introduction part of this series, I will try to analyze and describe the nature of the “types” of women that I have faced in life till now. So, to begin with, I will dissect one of the most dangerous kinds of females- the Scissor-Tongues.
The scissor-tongues are those who are quick-witted. They might not seem ominous at first, but the moment you start talking to them, you will realize that they can chop you up, somewhat like Zorro chopped up Catherine Zeta-Jones’s clothes, and make you feel emotionally and mentally naked. They might or might not be pretty-looking or sexy. The usual case is that they are average looking females, easily mistaken for the girl-next-door. Their faces radiate a dumbness which is nothing but a masquerade to lure the unknowing males to their shame. When approached by low-IQers, these girls are mild in manner, keeping the leash on their devastating tongues. But, when approached by the alpha-male, they unleash the wrath of their quick wit and sharp tongues in order to shred the confidence and the pride of the male. The alpha-male, taken by surprise by the sudden turn of events, succumbs to the snips of the scissor-tongues, surrendering to the low-IQ but persistent wit of these innocuous-in-appearance-femme-fatales.
Therefore, we can easily deduce the fact that these females have selective targeting mechanisms, targeting only those males who have a high IQ and a high wit quotient. They do not target stupid males as these males serve the purpose of their errand-boys. Thus, the selective targeting mechanism is intuitive in these females as it helps in self-preservation and ease of survival. On the other hand, these females find it necessary to snip alpha males at regular intervals, much like rats need something to shred at regular intervals. In the absence of alpha male targets, the scissor-tongue of these females starts to wither away. If unused for a sufficiently long time, the scissor-tongue completely withers away and is replaced by a normal tongue. In order to preserve their tongues, these females are not averse to attacking the non-alpha males as well.
Hence, it can be concluded that the Scissor-tongued females are one of the most dangerous kinds of females that human race has seen. They are perfectly capable of turning the lives of males inside out and upside down, leading to immense turmoil and embarrassment. The higher the degree of embarrassment for the male, the higher the satisfaction achieved in the victory by the triumphant scissor-tongued female.
Tips to Seduce the kind:
If you are willing to woo one of the scissor-tongues, I will personally suggest you to reconsider because their tongues get sharper with age, while all other positive and attractive aspects of their personality (like physique, beauty etc) lose their charm with age.
But if you are determined to do so, try out-witting them. If you can tame the scissor–tongue, you can surely earn the respect of the lady. You have a pretty good chance of winning her over if the war of wits ends on an equal note.

Women: Mindless Heart and Soul-Chapter 0

Disclaimer: This post, as well as any related subsequent posts, is not meant to demean or defame any particular person, gender, race or nationality. If you are reading this, do so with an open mind and ample humour at your disposal as the post has been written with a view of entertainment.

Adam- the father of humanity, the first human created by God. He led a quiet and peaceful life in the Garden of Eden, like most men prefer. He liked being alone, thinking, pondering, enjoying the beauty of the nature around him. But God (do not ask me which one, because Indian mythology has innumerable Gods), like most well-wishers, could not bear the misconceived loneliness of Adam. Hence, to make his life miserable, He created Eve, the mother of humanity. What follows is mythology- the serpent convinces Eve to eat the fruit and Eve convinces Adam. The end result is that they are cursed and expelled from the Garden of Eden.

Now, the question here is- why did God create Eve at all? Adam was quite happy by himself before Eve came along. He had lesser woes, like food and sleep to worry about and he had more time to himself. Post the creation of Eve, there was obviously more on his platter than he had wished for. More troubles to haunt him and a wife to traumatize him with her incessant whining and cribbing.

If you believe that we, the sons of Adam, are any different, then you are highly mistaken. Even today, we suffer in the same way. The frame of reference changes, the time and the place change, but trauma of males remains the same. And the prime reasons of these woes remain the daughters of Eve. Yes, our wives, our girlfriends, our mothers, our sisters... any female that is even remotely associated with us can bring immense trouble and trauma into our life. So, the next time you feel like befriending a female, think twice.

Of course, any females reading this (even now) will be severely pissed off. So, let me tell you that it the picture I have painted so far is only the darker shade of the man-woman relationship. There is the brighter aspect too. The biggest positive of having women in our lives is, pretty obviously, love (those who were thinking that I would say “sex” are also right). The female heart is capable of providing much more love than a man’s heart. The presence of women in our lives makes our lives more liveable. We come to know about sentiments, compassion, emotions, etiquettes and many other aspects of life which would have remained unidentified had it been for males.

But, from Eve to the modern day versions of her, there has been an air of mystery around the females. Men, even with IQs of 180+, have not been able to get into the depths of the female heart (I do not say “the female mind”, because minds they have none). The way women behave and think has been a source of immense confusion for men around the world. We, the men, stand and stare when, at times, she behaves the same under different circumstances and, at other times, behaves differently under the same circumstances. We are left scratching our heads when she responds like a cannon ball to the same proposal that fetched us kisses in the previous week.

Even though I am not a psychologist and even though I do not claim to have solved this mystery, I can surely try my hand at it. So, starting with the next post, I will shed light on the “type” of women I have met in my life. Again, I do not claim to know every type of women in the world. But well, whatever limited knowledge I have, I want to share it with my fellow males.

Till the next chapter, stay put and stay sharp!

Love and orthodoxy- Rivals and brothers.

In my short span as a blogger, I have refrained from reacting to the writings of some other person because I believe that demeaning the creative yield of another person is not appropriate. But, a certain book has evoked my own creative machinery to an extent that I am bound to respond to it. I have no personal issues with the author, but my crusade is against all the people who think in the antediluvian manner. I hereby respond to an article in which it is quite clearly mentioned that being involved in a relationship during college years is inappropriate as it hampers our academic progress and distracts us from our primary goal, which is to educate our mind to an extent that is opens up to receive any external knowledge which seeks us and also to be able to efficiently exploit our innate talents and abilities. Education, in its purest sense, depicts the process of the blooming of a bud. Our inner selves are quite similar to buds in our early years. Eventually, we reach out and discover new things; we learn to utilize our mental potential. We learn to create, to develop, to innovate. Education ameliorates our creative potential, restructures our thought process to conform with the common belief of right and wrong, along with allowing space for maverick processes for discoveries and inventions. Education and concentration go together; there is no doubting this fact. But the inclusion of the aspect of love to the blend of education yields a very interesting prospect. I will start by severely condemning those who misconstrue love. The bad name associated with love and relationships can be blamed on the people who are more interested in the feeling of love rather than love. Love is not something which is to be sought, nor is it something which is necessary for everyone. Love is a caress of luck and the gift of destiny. Being involved with someone just for the sake of being involved is the biggest mistake a person can make. Such actions have wide-spread ramifications, for those people as well as for the society at large. My word of advice for such people is that friendship is also a very strong emotion. Instead of applying their energy to “seek” love, they should spend quality time with their friends and let destiny take its course. I might sound fatalistic and discouraging, but some things work best when treated in the orthodox fashion.
On the other hand, I will elucidate the power of love. People who adhere to orthodoxy do not realize the potential of love. The person who loves us will always think of our betterment. Love is invariably accompanied by a process of self-evaluation and self-improvement. When love elucidates the inner dark corners of our personality, we strive to cleanse our conscience and we concentrate our efforts in a direction which leads to improvement. Amelioration is an inseparable part of love. No person knows our faults better than our soulmate and we do not trust anyone more than our soulmate. Therefore, if our soulmate points out a particular malicious habit that we possess, we are more likely to improve upon that as compared to any other situation. A lover always inspires, cares, loves and improves the quality of life of the loved one. Life always takes a positive turn on encountering the patch of love, which is unexpected but immensely pleasant. A person attains the peak of his/her abilities when love is the driving force. The lover is our haven, our shield and support in times when our own feet show severe aversion to us. Then, I question, what is wrong with love during college life? Love helps us concentrate on our primary objectives better than any other method. Apart from every other advantage, with love comes joy. The glow on the face of the person, the constant smile that lives on the face and the spring in the step are things that surely aid the education process. A healthy state of mind never mars progress.To all those who snarl at the name of love, and love marriages specially, just remember that this world is not based on the chain of consumer and producers, nor is it based on intelligence. It is based on love. Love is omnipresent and omniscient. Challenging and striving to ebb the flow of something so powerful is an error nobody should make even in the wildest dreams.