The Four Dark Horsemen of Love

The world we live in revolves, among several things, around love (or so we are made to believe). Right from our birth to the day we merge with the cosmic whole, we are constantly told via books, music, movies, billboards and commercials that life is beautiful if you are in love with someone. Generation after generation of authors and poets have written pages upon pages about the beauty of love and those pages have been avidly consumed by the masses like us to build a Utopian vision of love. However, only when we truly love someone do we realize that love has infinite layers to it. Do not get me wrong - I am not saying that love is not beautiful - all I am saying is that it is not just the beautiful things.

People seek love and companionship to be happy. And there is plenty of happiness to be sought. There is a definitive joy in a dinner date, in the stolen kisses, in the interlocked hands. There is a sense of calmness in the long hugs and longer walks, in the nights spent sleeping in each other's arms. There is a sense of positivity that lures us into the throes of love, subconsciously or otherwise. But what we do not realize, for a very long time, are the not-so-beautiful aspects of a romantic relationship. The top of the list is probably fear. Love always comes bundled with fear. Even in the best of relationships, there resides an element of fear - of losing the significant other. In a more troubled relationship, the scope of fear is pretty substantial. People can be afraid of each other, of commitment, of abandonment, of violence, of falling out of love, of betrayal and a myriad of other things. There is no love that does not get accompanied by a sense of fear. Anyone who says otherwise is either delusional or lying. Think about the person you love most and you will know that fear inevitably follows you around. 

Another aspect of a relationship that is not as rosy is perhaps hard-work. Relationships require constant effort to last. Even the matches made in heaven require a very earthly human effort to last a lifetime. Humans are fragile beings emotionally and mentally. There are mood swings, dilemmas, societal acceptability, peer pressure and so many other variables that any relationship can fall apart no matter the amount of love shared between the two people. It takes conscious effort from both sides to grow as individuals without growing apart. Relationships are fun at the onset. There is significant excitement when one is pursuing the other. Even the starting phase is filled with ample dopamine and serotonin. As flawed as humans are, in our infinite wisdom, we conclude that the entire relationship will remain as exciting and fun-filled. The reality dawns after a while and it is immensely harsh. Those willing to do the hard work are the ones who succeed.

One more element that turns out to be a major challenge is the people themselves. Even the best of human beings are flawed. A relationship relies heavily on people navigating the intricacies of each other's personalities. It is one thing knowing each other's favourite colour or cuisine (which is also important) but totally another thing to live with the other's fears, quirks, flaws and demons. It is not limited to that. Supporting each other's dreams, ambitions and hopes is also a taxing yet immensely important act of love. Then there is also the occasion of taking care of each other (the real "in health and in sickness" part) which requires empathy and patience. Loving someone encompasses a whole gamut of negative and positive personality traits. But, if you truly love them, you will love their darkness as well as their light; you will love the face they make when angry; you will love their irrational fears: you will love their dreams.

One of the most unavoidable challenges that we feel completely helpless about are circumstances. From physical distance to families not approving of the relationship to the timing when two people meet each other, there are often events and situations that make the possibility of two people being together close to impossible. There is only so much we can do in such scenarios. There is, of course, a design for each of us prepared by fate and there is only so much room for us to manipulate that. The best we can do is try our best - try our best to make that long distance thing work, try our best to convince our families, try our best to be with each other no matter the shape or form of the relationship. We are, after all, mere pawns on a cosmic chess board with only limited capability to wriggle around. 

So, if you thought love was easy, I am sorry to be the one who shattered that myth (hopefully). Love is beautiful but it is also painful, full of anxiety, darkness, hate, anger, and fear. Love is pure bliss but it requires patience, dedication, and hard work. The next time you think you love someone, do ask yourself if you are willing to go through this “ocean of fire" for them or not.

The anatomy of grief

 I recently had the chance to relish Zakir Khan's new stand-up special titled "Tathastu". It was sublime to say the least; it had witty humour, immaculate storytelling but, most of all, it had a soul. That is what you get when a philosopher does stand-up comedy I suppose. And, having lost both my paternal grandparents in the space of eight months earlier this year, this one ended up being extremely close to my heart. When Zakir asked how people can just go away so suddenly, I felt it because that is how my grandmother went - all of a sudden one night. When he talked about how his father felt, I instantly visualized my own father in tears when my grandfather finally let go.

Why - the quintessential question

Both my grandparents were doing relatively well till April. They were both in their early eighties and were marred by a bunch of old-age issues, but neither of them had any signs of anything life threatening. Then, one April night, my grandmother left us in her sleep. Needless to say, everyone was distraught but none more than my grandfather. After all, losing a partner of more than six decades must be truly devastating. He wasn't the same man since but he was trying his best to rebuild till a mysterious infection landed him in the hospital in October, from which he could not recover. 

In both these instances, all those left behind had an overwhelming sense of loss and also a plethora of questions, primarily "how", and more importantly, "why". I suppose the "why" is more confounding - the bigger question to the cosmos on how the terminal point of a life is determined. How do the powers that be decide to pluck away a living, breathing, vivid person in an infinitesimally ephemeral instant? What of all the desires they still had? Of the places they wanted to see, of the people they wanted to meet? Of the smiles they still had to smile, of the tears they still had to shed? Why is the yardstick different for each individual? That is the nature of grief though; it is accompanied by an entire range of emotions and thoughts that one has to work through. Some believe there are seven distinct stages to it, but then, academicians are prone to reducing the most chaotic things into symbols written in ink on paper. What it feels like is chaos - a tumultuous whirlwind of emotions bearing down on you in constant fury.

I wish…

Amidst the storm of emotions, there is a hailstorm too often too - a hailstorm of regret. There are always a bunch of things we wish we would have done or said before a person went - if we had called the person one more time or met them once more or shared one more meal with them or had not broken their heart that one time. In my case, I had not called my grandmother the evening she passed because I was occupied with some office chores. And, no matter how many office tasks I accomplish now, I would never get the opportunity to talk to my grandmother again.

My grandfather was in the hospital for a while. People say that those in touch with the divine know when its time to go; perhaps my grandfather knew it was time. After all, he was as devout as any person can be. The night before he passed, he grabbed my shirt and pulled me close, almost as if to plead to take him off the machines and drips because he wanted to go in peace. Neither my father nor I had the heart to accept it and make that hard call. I will regret that - not being able to give my grandfather peace in his final moments.

I just wish that regret has a silver lining. So far, all it is is a constant burning sensation at the core of my soul that smolders away incessantly. There is no Ctrl+Z to life.

Ephemeral immortals

There is something inexplicably life-altering in seeing the lifeless body of a person you were close to - witnessing their ever-sparkling eyes without any traces of brilliance, their ever-warm hands incomprehensibly cold to the touch, their often smiling face inanimate in a morbid expression. If you are a person with any trace of practicality, you realize that what lies in front of you is not the person you loved but a complex carbon-based form. The last rites of Hinduism further drive home this very concept - the burning of the body, the bursting of the head, the collection of the remains. But, no matter how practical we become, our emotions take time to accept this transition; we still feel the pain of the searing skin, the heat of the dancing flames, the crunch of snapping bones - and the meltdown of every conceptual element associated with the person. It takes a significant amount of time to dissociate the person from the carbon-based lifeform no matter how practical you are.

In those moments, we often contemplate on the nature of life and how we live it. Collective wisdom states that human life is extremely fragile and yet, individually, we each live like immortals. The only indicator of mortality we perhaps accept is life insurance; other than that, we are slaves of providence, ever in pursuit of providing sustenance across generations.

The void

The loss of a loved one does not set in till life returns to normal after all rites and rituals; it is when you think of things like "why has grandmother not called today?" and then realizing she is no longer around that you feel the void created in your life. Our lives, as they are, are a complex structure of blocks constantly being added and removed; the core, however, is made of a few important blocks set up early in our lives. When one of those blocks is removed, the structure still stands but it has a visible void that is apparent every day, in everything we do. There is no replacing the block, no way to fill the void. How do we cope with this? How do we keep living knowing that a hand that shaped us is no longer there?

Coping and growing up

And yet, we live on, don't we? The key is knowing that we carry a part of them with us - the rhymes they taught us, the lessons they gave us, the joy they shared with us, the pesky little habits we picked up from them and, the human beings we became because of them. But it takes months to reach this level of acceptance, through tears and pain. As we trudge out of the other end of this tunnel, we know we are not the same person that entered the tunnel. In passing away also, our loved ones gave us a few lessons, and laid bare the threads of life itself, how it is spun and how we adorn it with frivolities hyped as necessities.

Perhaps the academicians weren't all wrong - the cycle of grief ends with acceptance. But then, does it really end? This loss reminds us that we are just dust animated by magic and the moment the magic leaves us, we are but dust again. Seeing a loved one turned to ashes and dust in front your eyes sets things in perspective - what is important, what is not, what is soulful and what superficial. It allows us to re-evaluate priorities, relationships and habits. The loss of a life is a reminder of life itself.

Tick tick...no boom?

Have you watched "Tick Tick . . . Boom"? Yes, the movie where Andrew Garfield brilliantly portrays Jonathan Larson. The movie is based on the autobiographical musical dealing with Larson's anxiety about turning 30. Now, for someone who is already on the flip of 30, the movie is a non-saccharine reminder of the anxieties tied to what can be termed as the demise of youth and the onset of the second half of life; it is a reminder that if you were a radioactive element, you probably hit your half life and turned from Uranium to Thorium - you are no longer the same overzealous, under-careful little pain is the neck that you used to be. But, what can a man in his 30’s take away from the movie?

Yardsticks for measuring success

One of the key, if not the key, concern that Larson contemplates as part of the musical is success. Given that each one of us is running a different race yet all of us seem to be running on the same track, how correct or incorrect would it be to measure everyone using the same measures of success? A songwriter who doesn't have a musical on Broadway by 30 can be labeled a failure; a corporate employee who is not earning a salary in six figures by 30 is probably a failure too. Or probably not. That is where the essence of individuality comes to the rescue of humankind. As individuals, we have the liberty of choosing our own yardsticks to measure what success looks like for us. Probably one may not be earning a six figure salary but has time to volunteer or has time to help their kids with homework and that constitutes their measure of success. Of course, that stands directly in contrast with our needs and understanding of how a social construct works atop common shared beliefs. Individualism does not bode well for existing social constructs in general and individualizing something like measures of success is a blow to the societal fabric at large. Yet, for the sake of the lives and mental peace of innumerable people who struggle to meet prejudiced criteria of failure and success put forth by the society, it is paramount for us to believe in our own goals and our own success.

The definition of love

How can love not be part of an autobiographical piece? The 20's are as good a time for romantic intrigues as any. Young men often pursue fleeting crushes like their everlasting happily ever-after to end up heart-broken, just to start anew as soon as another turns up. They actually made this concept into a neat little sitcom which is the claim to fame for Neil Patrick Harris. The game of love in the 20's is akin to snakes and ladders - progress, frustration and repetition. By the 30's, there are, more often than not, stories of deep-seated pain from a love that was lost and the contentment of a love that was found. The very definition of love and the inextricably linked excruciating heartache is something that accompanies the 30's like a bit of gray in the hair and that odd pain in the back - it is quintessential and typical. Our minds, emotions and hormones are not mature enough to comprehend love or heartbreak in the 20's. Of course, many claim to find love early in life and many more still proclaim to have been in the throes of heartbreak at a young age. Yet these are mere shadows of the actual thing, a low quality Xerox of what it actually feels like. It takes a pinch of aged wisdom to truly love a person and it needs an abundance of understanding to lose a love. It takes an understanding of how the fabric of lives are woven to understand how they intertwine and how they diverge; that is meant for eyes not with the furious passion of the 20's but the raging calm of the 30's.

The fleeting nature of life

Another theme brought up numerous times was the ephemeral nature of life. How can we live with planning and providence when we have no assurances of the continuance of our lives the very next instant? What keeps us doing so irrespective as a species, day after day and not nose-dive into a nihilistic doomsday cult? Perhaps the answer is 'Hope'. We wake up each day with new hope and then build on it throughout the day, day after day, hoping to see the payout of the term deposit we initiated, hoping to see our kids grow up, hoping the seeds we planted out in the garden would turn into trees. The alternative, honestly, is not too intriguing; if not hope, then the other explanation tends towards god complex or megalomania, both of which are reasons enough to drive humanity onwards but neither could be pervasive enough to drive an entire species. Or could it?

The rise of fatherhood

Having a child is probably one of the most incredible things that can happen to a person. It is a moment unlike any other, especially when it is about the first child. There are myriad emotions overwhelming a person simultaneously and it is probably difficult for anyone to decipher what exactly are these emotions wreaking havoc inside. And I am just referring to the days leading up to and right after the birth; there are a million other things one might feel in the time from conception to the time of the birth and a million more will follow while raising the child, but the moment one sees one's child for the very first time is an exquisite cocktail of head spinning emotions. Sufficient content has been written and consumed repeatedly over centuries on how it feels to become a mother, right from excruciating anatomical details to tiniest of emotional details. Males, generally, are more immune to emotions, yet the advent of fatherhood does invoke quite an emotional response even from the most frosty ones (even if they deny it and don't have any visual indications of it). Most of it is probably plain old biological programming hard - wired to ensure the propagation of the species, yet, it is crafted so exquisitely that one can't help but wonder if it is the same for everyone or unique to one.

So, what does it feel like for a make to have a child? Like being hit by a freight train and still delightful? Here are the top ingredients I could pick out of the heady emotional cocktail of new-found fatherhood:

1. Helplessness / powerlessness

Yes, that is correct, the most conspicuous emotion a soon-to-be father experiences is helplessness / powerlessness. It doesn't matter where you are from and how wonderful and state-of-the-art the medical facilities are, the period of time when your partner is undergoing contractions and labor pain, or the period of time when your partner is in the OT for a c-section, you will feel the stark antonym of omnipotence - sheer powerlessness; you want everything to be alright, you want your child to be born healthy, you want your partner to make it out of it unscathed (relatively speaking). But, you realize that despite your best efforts, as a mere mortal, all you have control and sway over is just your own anatomy (that too, barely). It is at this moment you understand the need of relinquishing control, essentially and precisely because you have none.

2. Belief in higher powers

No matter your religious outlooks, when you sit and wait for your child to arrive, when you have acknowledged your own helplessness, the next step along the journey is to question the cosmos - if not me, then who? That question inevitably leads to an answer not everyone ascribes to but gleefully or resentfully agrees to - that there is something beyond our knowledge and comprehension that now controls the outcome of this episode. People ascribe a multitude of names to it - god, destiny, fate, karma, the universe, the cosmos. That is when the ones with a sense of religion start to pray, and the ones who believe in the laws of attraction and the universe probably send out vibes and thoughts into the universe. Either way, you beg whoever is in control of the outcome to flip the coin in your favour, because you cannot, no matter how hard you try.

3. Joy

The most-associated emotion with child birth is probably joy and it is so because of valid reasons. The moment you see your child for the first time, you experience pure, unadulterated, cosmic joy. If you want to draw figurative parallels of it, do not even try. There is no other feeling and not enough adjectives to describe it. Perhaps the word “joy” itself is an underwhelming image of it. It is probably akin to being touched by angels or blessed by god , but who knows? It is boundless, it is transformative, it is the extent of emotional cognition. No matter what words are used, you would only know it if you have experienced it.

4. Anxiety

From the moment you first hold your child, with the slew of all the love and care that wakes up in the deepest, darkest crevices of your soul, there is also a dark passenger - anxiety. There is a constant state of anxiousness that persists and heightens every time someone checks on your child, everytime your child makes a sound, everytime the breeze touches your child gently, everytime the clock ticks. And it is not just anxiety; there is a mix of fear and worry alongside it. This concoction makes you wish that somebody had invented time travel prior to this moment so that you can look into the future just to make sure that everything turns out just right for your little thing. There is no alleviating this constant state of anxiousness; there is no remedy, just the sense of perplexing fear lurking consistently.

5. Protectiveness

With the constant worry comes the antithesis of it as well - constant protectiveness . As a father, you feel responsible for keeping your child safe constantly. You monitor every aspect of the environ to assess potential threats, you scan every individual approaching your child, you put an extra pillow around to ensure they are well cushioned, you pull your child closer to your chest when a chilly gust of wind threatens a sneeze and you innately are ready to do everything in your power to make sure no harm comes to your child on your watch, even though nobody told you to do so.

Conclusion

That said, these are not the only emotions you would feel and, depending on you, you may or may not feel all of these. And if this sounds discouraging or it appears to highlight negative emotions over the positive ones, just remember that this is about a very small , albeit important , chapter of a much larger tale that is yet to be written. Nobody said raising another human being would be easy , and well, it apparently isn't.

The Illusion of Digital Choice

The internet has been home to digital content since its advent. The archaic HTML based websites were the point of initiation for digital content, which has since gone through an evolution on boosters apparently to reach the current state of micro-blogs, blogs, pictures, short videos, long videos and whatever else you can think of in way of digital content. 

Digital Content Boom

With the increase in the penetration of internet, and with mobile devices becoming more powerful and capable, the amount of digital content being produced has sky rocketed in recent years. It is estimated that 2.5 quintillion bytes of data was created per day in 2020. That is 2,500,000,000,000,000,000 bytes (I took the effort to count and types - it's 17 zeroes)! And all this when only 60% of the world population has access to internet, with most of the data accessed / generated via smart phones. The journey of content has also been pretty obvious - starting from text based content like tweets, emails, blogs to snaps, insta posts, stories, reels and short videos, leading to more data generation and subsequent consumption.

Ka-ching

Marketing has always been closely linked to a brand's ability to ride the trend. As digital media and digital content became popular, digital marketing too dug it's tooth into it. From advertising on websites, to sending generic emails, to generating tweets, blogs, videos, pictures and memes, digital marketing has probably evolved at a pace abreast with the digital revolution itself. And it has been a rousing success for marketing, because it is estimated that close to 70% of instagram users check out a picture or video shared by brands. The basic concept, of course, is maintaining and maximizing the time a user spends on a particular app or website, browsing the promotional content. And with great marketing, comes great moolah.

Painting individual bulls-eyes

From statistics and the teenagers we notice recording weird acts on their smartphones in the streets, it is evident that the amount of content generated daily is immense. For the sake of the moolah, it is imperative that users eyeballs need to remain hooked to one's app or website in order to view more and more promotional content, subconsciously influencing the user's buying choices IRL. How, then, is that achieved? If you remember an android-faced Mark Zuckerberg in front of a committee, you know the answer to it - by personalizing the content offered to a user based on millions of data points gathered via billions of interactions. Every interaction of a user becomes an event that is recorded and used to refine the content curation algorithm (AI! Yeah baby!) for the user, ensuring more and more screen time for the app or website (the current estimate is 142 minutes spent on social media daily on an average).

Frog in a digital well

The concept of personalization or curation of content might be good for the corporations, but, from the perspective of the user, it constructs a ailo around the user, entrapping her in content filtered to the T based on previous interactions. What that means is that the user always gets only a specific subset of the content, no matter what is generated outside of that. If you are a fan of Venn Diagrams, think of the subset as a very small bubble inside a very large circle - that is all the user sees if left to her own devices. 

The illusion of choice

Every social media or digital content app makes the user believe they are free to view whatever content they choose, follow who they want but the dire reality of it is that their digital world is akin to a softer version of the Truman Show, with choices seeming abundant yet restricted to a small set. The user, of course, can search for specific terms and inorganically increase the bounds of their dome, including new data points, but that requires knowledge of events outside the dome, creating a paradox in itself for internet driven generations - to view content outside the curated items, you need knowledge of outside events; to have knowledge of outside events, you need relevant content to be made available. The primary means by which a user gets her daily dose of world events is, today, primarily digital - tweets, websites, videos on social media. What appears on the user's feed from the gigantic set of events generated at any instance is dependent on the previous interactions. If someone has not shown interest in soccer, they would probably not know that Argentina won the Copa America after 28 years; and they have no way of knowing it unless they know that there is a tournament like Copa America or a game like soccer if their knowledge is driven off digital content. If they have not shown any prior interest in Soccer, even searching for Argentina using common search engines might not yield their Copa America win as a first page item.

All is not lost

While the major players that dominate the internet are instrumental in perpetuating this art of digital confinement, there are those who want to use internet for knowledge sharing rather than profiteering. Search engines like duckduckgo provide avenues to showcase how an internet without money-making motives would look like and that is hope enough for an inevitable revolution that would come, eventually, gradually.

The interminable love of the underdog

Human race and it's incessant love affair with the notion of the rise of the underdog is as old as civilization itself. For as long as a semblance of societal hierarchy has existed, the concept of the underdog has been romanticized in the minds of the people in the lower strata of the societal hierarchy. Humans are perhaps the only species that can feel a sense of achievement in the triumphs of others. The sheer thought of witnessing a low ranked team win (or even put up a close match) against a higher ranked team, watching a challenger win the title against the reigning champion, seeing the current government overthrown by a completely new regime...the list is endless.

The order of the society

For as long as the concept of civilization has existed, there has been the concept of a hierarchy that has existed alongside it. Castes, professions, economic sections, player/team rankings - it has been called by many names, but the core concept remains the same - there are those who are at the summit, there are those who are on the incline trying to reach the summit and there are those who are at the base and have either no desire or no hope of reaching the summit. That has been the order, the way of life. From the leader of a tribe, to the kshatriya and the Brahmins of Vedic period, to the kings in mediaeval times, to elected leaders of democratic nations, to the elite 1%, to the champions of a sport - there have always been people who are identified as the zenith of achievement in the society or a specific area; and then there are those who aspire to replace these groups or individuals at the top of the pyramid, and an indifferent mass of people who are too busy with the travails of survival to think of upward movement in the ecosystem.

The Cyclic nature of world order

Throughout history, there is a pattern to the overthrowing of the alpha by the challengers. It always follows the same modus operandi - the middle section, with the help of the lower strata, overthrow the upper class. The middle becomes the top, a new middle is formed while the bottom remains at the bottom more or less, except for some who move to the new middle. And then, after a period, the cycle repeats. This is true for society at large, political parties, democracies, economies, sports, even in office politics. Every Revolution or civil war the world has seen is an example of this; the entire concept of anti-incumbency stems from this fundamental truth of human nature - humans favor the challengers, not the rulers; and the human need to dethrone the rulers is insatiable.

Punching above weight

Think of a sport that you watch often, and imagine two teams or individuals (not your favourite ones, to avoid any bias), one ranked in the top 3 and the other ranked somewhere in the 30s (or an unseeded one), facing each other in a match. As s person with no bias for or against any of the participants, who would you be more likely to support? Exceptions apart, most of us would want in our heart that the team or individual with a lower rank would defeat the one ranked in the top 3. As humans, we romanticize the victories that defy odds; we want that the challenger who has worked his way to this match up via sheer hardwork and willpower should reap the fruits by emerging victorious against the one touted as one of the greats of the game, even though we have no apparent gain from the triumph. The same goes for economic classes - where we want people with regular middle class upbringing to break the glass ceiling and enter the elite 1%, or in politics, where we often vote for some new to oust the people in power. The churn of people is an undeniable favourite of masses, and it has to do with how we view ourselves. We are the middle layer, struggling to get to the top in some aspect or other. That makes it easy for us to relate to the underdog - because we are the underdog in some sense, in some aspect of life. Once that bind of relatability is forged, emotions soon follow and we find ourselves in the corner of Rocky trying to outlast Creed, of Switzerland trying to out-kick France, of Aam Admi trying to overthrow the incumbent - because we see a bit of us in them; we see the struggle and the spirit and the dedication which we ourselves are putting in somewhere else.

Kyunki...master bhi kabhi challenger tha (the master was once a challenger)

In all the emotions and the cheering for the underdog, there is an essential detail we often overlook - the master that we are now asking to be dethroned was once a challenger; it took all their spirit and willpower and dedication and prowess to become a master and they have been consistently putting in their 100% to stay there. Mass memory, of course, is goldfish-y, and the masses would not remember the moment when this master took its place at the top, they had been cheered on by the same masses that are now cheering against them. That is the reality we live in.

But cheer on!

No matter who your heart supports, the underdog or the alpha, the incumbent or the challenger, do cheer them on. The uniqueness of humanity lies in empathy, where one can affect the energy levels of someone else by merely a few acts of encouragement. There will be days when probably you would be an underdog and you just might gave people in your corner, people you have never known even, cheering you on, and that can be the difference between winning and losing!

Are we losing our EQ?

Have you ever experienced a truly marvelous moment in your life and found that your own reaction was not what you had expected? Did you not smile as much as expected when you got you first salary? Did your fiance not cry while saying that life-altering "yes" to you? Did your eyes not tear up when you saw your baby for the first time on the sonograph? And there would be a million other events, though not as significant, where you might have found yourself lacking in emotions.

The cyclic downfall hypothesis

Though you might feel a tinge (or more) of guilt for this, you can find solace in the fact that you are not alone. The reason that we, as a society, consistently fail to meet emotional outbursts and reactions is something that warrants a bit of attention. One of the plausible, yet horrifying, reasons could be that we are producing emotionally moribund pyschopaths by the dozen, leading to a reduction in the overall emotional quotient of the society. It implies that individuals are losing their "emotionality" if you will, due to the way our lives and social interactions are structured. As a people, we are slowing regressing into the nuclear family hunter-gatherer phase prevalent before community living became a thing and farming started in the days of our Neanderthal-esque forefathers. If that is true, it does present a very strong argument in favour of the cyclic nature of civilization - how things usually come full circle, how civilizations rise and subsequently fall, how societies flourish and then die off, how communities prosper and then fade into oblivion. In the mindless race for better futures, lesser dependencies, more independence and simpler lives, the connections we sever may not seem costly, yet they do cost us in terms of soul nourishment and social interactivity. There is a profound loneliness that is evident in most of the people of the younger generations especially in larger cities, where people tend to live away from their families. Loneliness is a precursor to a host of mental health issues, and could possibly impact the way we respond to emotions and react in times of emotionally charged situations. That can explain our under performance on emotional big stages.

The media-dosed baseline hypothesis

The second possible reason that we feel inadequate emotionally is that our reactivity baseline is probably not correct. Most of us experience life-changing moments, well, only a few times in our lives. We don't get first salaries every day, or fall in love frequently (except some lucky people do). How do we know, then, what is the appropriate reaction to these events? As human beings, we have the power to learn from others. That forms the baseline of comparison we create consciously and unconsciously. The older generations formed this baseline looking at the community around them. However, our generation has grown up in an age of excessive media exposure. We had access to media content from across the world during our formative years and we have seen some great performers react to similar life events on screen. That, consciously or unconsciously, becomes a part of our training model for appropriate reactions, which is unfortunate because the actors who we see on screen are paid to react excessively, their bodily and facial expressions, tonality, and every other verbal and nonverbal cue, is exaggerated to ensure their reactions are not subtle. They work hard to make sure that what they are expressing is communicated across media without even an iota of doubt. There is always an element of extraneous effort in reactions when we look at "good" actors - that extra flair of expressions is what makes them good. Though a boon for actors, it creates a false baseline for people in the real world. We start expecting ourselves to react overly to similar situations drawing from our media content viewership experiences, and then feel emotionally short when we do not match up to what we have seen so many times before. As regular humans, we all have different emotional ranges and expressive capabilities, which might not match up to the extraneous baseline established in our minds except for the few who are truly extra expressive. This is starkly in contrast to previous generations, where this baseline was more realistic due to the sample set being the community around, whose range of expressions was of the same magnitude even if not similar. We can probably blame our type 1 brain for this, which introduces biases in our routine thought processes, creating learning models and retrieving information subconsciously without our type 2 brain even being aware of it.

It is okay to be subtle

Though we cannot truly establish which of these is truly the reason for what happens to us, we can say with certainty that it is probably okay to be subtle about the way we feel. The shouting from the rooftops, the boombox driven confessions of love, the passionate bouts of love conjured up at the slightest hints of attraction, the profuse ophthalmic waterworks on every sentimental moment...it might not be your thing and that is absolutely okay. Establish your own baseline of emotional expression and surely there will be people who would appreciate you for being real about it rather than overly dramatic and fake. That is what is essential for a meaningful relationship after all - the honesty of it. 

Can rebirth have a scientific basis?

Disclaimer - this is a purely speculative post and does not aim to offend followers or believers of any particular faith or religion.

Hinduism, as it stands today, is defined by the the Vedas, the Upanishads, the Puranas, the Ramayana and the Mahabharata primarily. As one compares and contrasts Hinduism with the modern religions like Christianity or Islam, one fundamental idea presents itself as a stark difference - the idea of rebirth. Modern religions believe that we actually live only once (go YOLO!), residing for all eternity in Heaven or Hell in the afterlife based on our actions, thoughts, sins, guilt and what not during the time spent living. Hinduism, on the other hand, postulates that the soul is immortal and caught in a cycle of rebirths till one attains nirvana or moksha by elevating one's consciousness and merging into the infinite. The same applies to Jainism and Buddhism too, where Moksha or Nirvana are the end goal. 

Now, there is no scientific evidence (as far as I know) to support either of these views as yet, though there are multiple claims of people experiencing both these phenomena. But, come to think of it, the concept of multiverse actually can be attributed to the concept of rebirth. Of course, the similarity is not straightforward or forthcoming. But I assume you would indulge me somewhat.

Let us start with the concept of the multiverse for the uninitiated. Scientists have long theorized that ours is not the only universe that exists. It is theorized that there exist an infinite number of universes, each slightly different from the other yet similar, existing in higher dimensions unobservable to human senses and capabilities. Each universe contains a replica of everything in the other universe albeit different due to the different choices made by someone. So, probably, there is another universe where I didn't write this piece, another one where you did not read this and so on. Imagine all the possible combinations of the sum total of choices made by every conscious being since the advent of time itself - those are the number of parallel universes that exist!

That alone, although necessary, will not suffice the need of what could possibly be the scientific basis of rebirth. For that, another rather inexplicable phenomenon named quantum entanglement needs to be thrown into the mix. Quantum entanglement suggests that in certain scenarios, two particles can be linked together in such an exotic way that information exchange between them is instantaneous depsite the distance between them. There is a sort of cause-effect relationship between the two entities in the quantum realm, the observation or measurements on one particle instantly affecting the measurements on the entangled particle. And this is not a science fiction movie where the term "quantum"-something is thrown around just to avoid explaining the science behind what is going to happen.

With these two concepts in mind, the next item to analyze is the concept of the aatma and it's rebirth. Hinduism is rooted in the idea that the aatma is caught in loop if rebirths (talk about Tom Cruise fighting aliens in a loop!), moving from one vessel (body) to another and that our current life is affected by what we did in the past lives, and what we do in this life affects our future lives. Whatever knowledge we gained in previous lives is not forgotten, whatever good we did, or the bad we did, is not forgotten; it is just hidden or obscured due to our worldly sensory deprivation. Our life is the summation of all the lives we have lived and will live. However, all of this assumes that the arrow of time actually exists, that there is a "previous" and a "next" life. That is true for three dimensional beings (for example, humans), but for residents of higher dimensions, there is no arrow of time, there is no past and no future, no previous and no next. For higher dimensional beings, every moment is accessible simultaneously, just like the three dimensions humans can experience.

An amalgamation of all these concepts presents a highly unlikely yet plausible answer to the rebirth theory. Assuming that enlightened beings probably see higher dimensions and perceive time non-linearly, if we take the arrow of time out of the equation from the concept of rebirth, it simplifies rebirth down to - a being experiencing multiple lives in parallel, simultaneously. Since the theory of multiverse suggests that each of us are living multiple lives in parallel universes, that does not seem to be a far fetched idea at all. Also, the idea that what we do in one life impacts the other is also not far fetched if quantum entanglement exists - all replicas of a being in parallel universes could possibly be connected via quantum entanglement, leading to a cyclic cause-effect relationship of karma as defined in Hinduism.

What does all of this mean, you ask? In simpler words, probably, it means that what a being does in this life, in this instant, in this universe impacts the life of one's replica in every other existing parallel universe. An axiom to that - it also means that one's current situation, the outcomes of past, current and future events and everything else conveniently attributed to fate or destiny is nothing more than the impact of the actions of one's replicas from other universes. There is a shared subconsciousness connecting all the replicas of a being across all universes, connecting them through quantum entanglement, exchanging information on actions, thoughts, ideas, knowledge and much more across universes instantaneously.

As a by-product of this thought, probably 84 lakh (8,400,000) yonis actually point to the existence of 8.4 million parallel universes. Who knows? The scribes who wrote the scriptures were bound by their human potential, while the source of the scriptures were mostly omniscient beings who could perceive higher dimensions and understood the quantum realms. Discourses like the Gita were meant to be simple so that humans could grasp it despite the limited consciousness and universal awareness. Or, probably, it is just the musings of a curious mind.

How the Kobayashi Maru is more relevant now more than ever

If you are a Star Trek fan, or have seen Star Trek II or the new Star Trek movie, you would at least be vaguely aware of the Kobayashi Maru. For the completely uninitiated, it is one of the tests to examine the character of cadets in a no-win situation. The simulation was meant to be unwinnable, resulting in loss of lives no matter what choice the cadet made. The goal was to check how the cadet solves an ethical dilemma.

The test, by itself, is a very restrictive view limited to war time strategies. However, we all have faced our own Kobayashi Maru at some point in life - a situation where we lose no matter what we do. It can be in our professional lives, or our romantic persuasions or in inter-personal interactions; it can be a big decision that involves a makeover of lives from that point on or maybe just an insignificant choice that made a difference of a few cents to a grocery bill. The point here is not the scale of it, but the willingness to tackle it.

So, how do we know that we are staring our Kobayashi Maru right in the eyes? That is the thing - often we don't even realize that we are in it till we are on the other side of it. When we are in a no-win situation, we often don't know that it is a no-win situation. As persistent, stubborn children of Adam (or Eve), we keep on searching for possible solutions to the problem, trying to find some way which doesn't lead to an absolute loss. From one person to another, obviously, the number of attempts to solving it varies. But, it is not usually till the last few attempts that the fear of the Kobayashi Maru sets in. At first, it is just a nagging fear that we might be in a situation where we can possibly call ourselves "screwed". As we exhaust the remaining few solutions to no end, the fear grows into a wrecking ball that smashes through the remainder of confidence and hope we were holding onto. As the last attempt (or the one more last attempt) fails, we put our hands on our head and tell ourselves that this is it - this is where there is no winning; this is the endgame without the "one" future; this is Leonidas and his 300.

Speaking of Leonidas and his 300, that is perhaps one of the examples where someone knew beforehand that the situation is a no-win situation and yet went on to tackle it the best way he could - pretty much head-on. That is probably the Utopian way of handling a pre-identified no-win - with bravado and gusto no matter what the outcome. In fact, when you come to think of it, the Bhagwad Geeta also teaches the importance of non-goal oriented (or action-oriented) way of life. The crux of it is basically that the focus of our life should be on the actions that we perform - we should give it our 100 percent, always, inevitably, and keep on improving as we go along. It is not simple to do that as well, since it requires constant sincerity and we all know sincerity dwindles in the absense of motivation (and, psst, motivation comes from the end goals for which we are working). But action-orientation does solve the problem to some extent. If you are not worried about a win, it doesn't matter if it is a no-win game. All you have to worry about is your actions and how well you perform. As long as your actions allow you to have a peaceful sleep after, it is immaterial whether you win or lose.

But we do not live in a world where Lord Krishna is there to guide everyone. Right from day 1 of our lives, we are oriented towards goals. From walking a couple of steps to our favorite parent, to clearing an exam to get a cellphone (our generation did it for bicycles, believe me), to buying a total purse-burning wrist-watch, to landing the huge deal we are working on, to walking a couple of steps to our bed nearby - we are always trained to achieve goals. Not just that, those goals are the motivation that we need in order to accomplish the actions associated with it. How much effort would you really put in a test if you knew you are bound to flunk? You would probably spend the night watching Netflix after a subtle (or maybe even conspicuous) declaration of "hell with it". Now you see how that becomes a problem - we are not equipped to deal with our Kobayashi Maru. Nobody tells us that it is okay to lose as long as we tried; it is okay to come second or third or 100th in a race; it is okay to not land a deal - it is okay to fall! The source of motivation has to be transitioned to excellence instead of success. As long as we, as a society, do not start believing in the concept of actions and keep our emphasis strictly on the end results, we will be haunted by our Kobayashi Maru consistently. We will keep on seeing that ship go up in flames every night in our dreams and wake up screaming in hot sweat. It is up to us to win the Kobayashi Maru by not playing to win.

Dichotomy of Belief

As human beings, the apex predators and perhaps the most intelligent life forms in the universe known to us, it becomes paramount to believe in something, to have a dogma or a set of principles to follow as the bedrock on which we build our lives. it might not seem necessary or opportune to do so in the early stages of life, but, as we struggle against the world, against the ones closest to us and, to a fair extent, against ourselves, it becomes obvious that a tether is needed to bring us back to sanity at the end of it all. That tether is our belief - in ourselves, in a higher power, in the powers of nature, in our soulmates, in love, in power - in whatever we can seek comfort in. Belief is not something where one size can fit all. It is an extremely personal choice and should be exercised with ample freedom tempered with necessary guidance.

When it comes to beliefs, broadly speaking, there are fatalists and then there are those who emphasize on individualism. If you are sitting in quiet contemplation, thinking of how you should tackle this problem called life, you have perhaps these two options - you go all "Carpe Diem" on life, believing that every decision, every action of yours contributes to your destiny, and to the fate of the entire universe in an additive manner; or you can kick your feet up on a hammock, believing that a higher power has charted a course for you and, no matter what you do, you will sail along that route. Now, both of these approaches are sound and both of them have their flaws.

When dealing with the individualistic approach, it helps people carve a better living because they have a motive to work towards their betterment. Each and every second, each and every action, each and every decision, each and every word influences the outcome of what our lives can be, or so the approach warrants us to believe. So, people strive to make themselves better - kinder, smarter, hard working, honest - in the quest to conquer destiny, to have the liberty to mould and shape our lives as per our will. The problem here, however, is that, assuming there is no fatalistic end point predetermined for each of us, life across the universe is extremely complex. Imagine the smallest fragment of time you possibly can - fractions of a nanosecond if you will - that is a function defined by a polynomial equation with billions of variables and an order tending to infinity. Out of those innumerable variables, you are one. Your actions, in the grand scheme of things (defined by that unimaginable polynomial), are as close to insignificant as you can imagine. No matter how hard you strive to achieve a goal, the outcome will depend on so many other factors that you cannot control. That is where the motivation of people dies - when mathematical exactitude fails. We, humans, are selfish little pricks too often. We expect an exact return to our efforts, failing which, we are quick to render any associated beliefs as false, without truly understanding the underlying intricacies of the complex nature of individualism.

Fatalism seems the more convenient of the two. Life becomes multiple orders of magnitude simpler when you believe that the path to all the goals that you need to achieve has been charted for you as soon as you were born, that you will not achieve anything less or anything more than that, irrespective of what you do, say or think. Every action you take, every decision you make, every word you say has been scripted by a higher power - your actions are not your own, neither your thoughts, nor you words. You are merely a vessel, sailing along the course determined for you, towards a destination already defined for you. Every person has their own journey, their own goals, their own troubles. This belief precludes the quest for mortal greatness, negating any motivation for individuals to achieve something beyond their measure, thereby ending the constant need for us to strive for improvement. The universe, a ball of hot stars, empty spaces and a handful of living beings, is bouncing along a curve define by a specific constant equation and we have to go along. But, if we are not striving to improve as a species, we will give in to a nihilistic craving that is caved within us and destory ourselves given ample time. Perhaps that would what destiny picked for the human race. But then, again, our decisions do matter. In the immediate plan of things, what we decide alters the course of the goings-on around us. It might not all be deterministic after all.

What then is the middle path? Perhaps a belief in a margin for deviations from the predestined course that has been set for us? That we can influence the smaller scale of things to an extent but the larger scheme of things remains unaffected, irrespective of our struggles and ambitions? That we can alter the scale of our success or compound the intensity of our failures based on our actions and decisions? What else is there is not a belief in higher powers and a call to action?

Crises in the 30s

• The darkness of the hall was broken by flashing, crawling red, green and blue lights. The DJ had pumped up the volume, and the bass, to a level that far surpassed the need of that enclosed space. In the ephemeral illumination, I could make out the faces of the 70 odd people around, most of them familiar, some had associations with a name in my mind registry, some were just faces I was encountering again, some were completely new. Office parties are not really such vibrant affairs, but ours was. It had been a trend that we had to follow. A quiet meal doesn't really justify the definition of a party.

But, as a married 30 year old male, life throws innumerable shards at you. You are too young to acquire a corner with the 35-years-or-older folks, sipping on their scotch, nibbling away at their chicken wings and discussing about revenues; you are also too old to do Bhangra or hip-hop with the 25-year-olds; you are too married to try and start a futile conversation with a female of your own age (honestly, it is just too much work leading to nothing). You are stuck in a place in life where you do not have a tribe. You converse with the people you know, mere formalities at a superficial strata, to not be ostracized from society. You bear the evening, reminiscing the time when you had a tribe; how much fun that was, how you enjoyed being with those people, in a circle on the dance floor. The same flashing lights added to the fervour; the bass to the mood. The conversations were merrier, deeper, casual, about anything under the sun. You decide to deposit yourself in corner with a scotch of your own, rethink and overthink your decision to come to the party as the ice melts, turning your drink from a harsher shade to a mellow sunshine shade. You down it, eat whatever dinner comes your way and silently fade into oblivion, making a to-be-broken promise to yourself to not come the next time.

x

The Onsite Story

When we talk about an average Indian IT professional, there are two distinct species of humans that come to mind instantly. One of them is influential, drives a sedan and looks sharp. The other one is inconspicuous, fuzzy haired, sporting a 3-day stubble and relies on public transport more often than his private two-wheeler to go around town in order to manage the month in his meager salary. Any further allusions to an average Indian IT professional will imply the more ‘gareeb’ kind of the two.

When the IT industry bubble started growing in the 90’s, the Indian IT professionals were introduced to a new phenomenon called ‘onsite’. Going onsite originated from the dire need of having someone on client location to constantly interact with the client and understand the requirements and feedback of the client. That made perfect sense. But, over the years, somebody in the collection of shrewd people in every company, known as the HRD, came up with a brilliant idea of tying onsite trips with performance, dignity, honor and brilliance. Onsite trips started to be used as incentives for good performance and sometimes also as excuses for poor performance ratings (like “Hey, that poor fellow didn't get an onsite, so we gave him the top rating. You shouldn't mind a second grade rating because you got an onsite”). If the usage as incentive and excuse was not enough, onsite trips also became a retention strategy (“Come on, don’t quit. We will initiate an H1 for you this time”).

The problem is not that the HRs and managers started using onsite trips as weapons to manipulate the employees; the real problem began when employees allowed them to do so. The new breed of IT professionals grew up with dreams of New York and London in their heart (notable contribution from major Bollywood production houses). To these IT professionals, an H1b visa has more value than a 15-20% hike in salary. And who could blame them. Saving a dollar in the US is effectively saving Rs. 54 here. 4 years in US are enough to enable the transition of an IT professional from gareeb to non-gareeb. It is often said that a man makes his first onsite trip for a car and the second for a house, and, more often than not, that is the case. On return from their first onsite, most IT professionals buy a car on hefty EMI; on return from the second, they buy a house on even heftier EMI. The third onsite is then needed to pay off the blood-suckingly high EMIs on the car and the home.

But then, greed, like atomic fission, never ends. It just keeps getting worse and keeps getting the better of human beings. That has been the case since the beginning of history. Why would our era be any different to that of our Neanderthal-ish forefathers? Why would we not succumb to the temptations of Greed- the vile mistress of Misery? We do. And in the process, we ruin a lot of things. Two nations are just the pinnacle of the carnage we leave behind when we succumb to our greed for constant onsite trips.

I am pretty sure that an epiphany or a HIMYM-style Intervention is not required for us to realize that whenever we go out there, we are tagged as “immigrants”. We might not be treated like kings in our own country, but the way we are treated in an onsite land is never better. Is it not unsettling to realize that a Caucasian person never sits next to us in the bus or train? Are the abuses and beer bottles hurled from passing cars late at night not proof enough that we are unwanted in that nation? We, as apostles of outsourcing, are eating up jobs of people who have spent much more money, time and sweat than us on their education. We often make snide comments about the Angrez being lazy and not working, thereby leading to outsourcing. Maybe it is not about being lazy but about asking for better worth of the education that they have. We do not value our degrees as much as them because we usually do not work hard enough to earn them.

It is ironical to me that a country that provides such diverse services in the IT sector to the entire world does not have a good enough IT infrastructure at home. Perhaps if we took lesser interest in what Kevin Rudd did to make our kind disappear from Australia and paid more heed to what can be done to make the IT infrastructure in India better, we would be in a much better place today. In the long run, outsourcing is not the way the Indian economy will survive. With more and more countries realizing the threat outsourcing poses to their own economy, it will become increasingly difficult for us to penetrate existing and new markets.

I just hope the slumber ends...soon.

Love and orthodoxy- Rivals and brothers.

In my short span as a blogger, I have refrained from reacting to the writings of some other person because I believe that demeaning the creative yield of another person is not appropriate. But, a certain book has evoked my own creative machinery to an extent that I am bound to respond to it. I have no personal issues with the author, but my crusade is against all the people who think in the antediluvian manner. I hereby respond to an article in which it is quite clearly mentioned that being involved in a relationship during college years is inappropriate as it hampers our academic progress and distracts us from our primary goal, which is to educate our mind to an extent that is opens up to receive any external knowledge which seeks us and also to be able to efficiently exploit our innate talents and abilities. Education, in its purest sense, depicts the process of the blooming of a bud. Our inner selves are quite similar to buds in our early years. Eventually, we reach out and discover new things; we learn to utilize our mental potential. We learn to create, to develop, to innovate. Education ameliorates our creative potential, restructures our thought process to conform with the common belief of right and wrong, along with allowing space for maverick processes for discoveries and inventions. Education and concentration go together; there is no doubting this fact. But the inclusion of the aspect of love to the blend of education yields a very interesting prospect. I will start by severely condemning those who misconstrue love. The bad name associated with love and relationships can be blamed on the people who are more interested in the feeling of love rather than love. Love is not something which is to be sought, nor is it something which is necessary for everyone. Love is a caress of luck and the gift of destiny. Being involved with someone just for the sake of being involved is the biggest mistake a person can make. Such actions have wide-spread ramifications, for those people as well as for the society at large. My word of advice for such people is that friendship is also a very strong emotion. Instead of applying their energy to “seek” love, they should spend quality time with their friends and let destiny take its course. I might sound fatalistic and discouraging, but some things work best when treated in the orthodox fashion.
On the other hand, I will elucidate the power of love. People who adhere to orthodoxy do not realize the potential of love. The person who loves us will always think of our betterment. Love is invariably accompanied by a process of self-evaluation and self-improvement. When love elucidates the inner dark corners of our personality, we strive to cleanse our conscience and we concentrate our efforts in a direction which leads to improvement. Amelioration is an inseparable part of love. No person knows our faults better than our soulmate and we do not trust anyone more than our soulmate. Therefore, if our soulmate points out a particular malicious habit that we possess, we are more likely to improve upon that as compared to any other situation. A lover always inspires, cares, loves and improves the quality of life of the loved one. Life always takes a positive turn on encountering the patch of love, which is unexpected but immensely pleasant. A person attains the peak of his/her abilities when love is the driving force. The lover is our haven, our shield and support in times when our own feet show severe aversion to us. Then, I question, what is wrong with love during college life? Love helps us concentrate on our primary objectives better than any other method. Apart from every other advantage, with love comes joy. The glow on the face of the person, the constant smile that lives on the face and the spring in the step are things that surely aid the education process. A healthy state of mind never mars progress.To all those who snarl at the name of love, and love marriages specially, just remember that this world is not based on the chain of consumer and producers, nor is it based on intelligence. It is based on love. Love is omnipresent and omniscient. Challenging and striving to ebb the flow of something so powerful is an error nobody should make even in the wildest dreams.

The Great Continental Divide

We, the Indians, have an innate dilemma, which we are born with. We feel the intensity of this dilemma during our period of education and we recognize its importance once we start bickering for our pay checks. This particular predicament plays a major role in exponentially increasing the size of our text books and also in over-burdening our mental retentive capacity. I am referring to the everlasting, loyal and faithful question of- US or UK. From the time we are born to the time we die, we constantly choose between the American uber-cool way or the British elegant way. The English language which we rigorously mug up during our education is bursting with anomalies arising due to two ways of achieving the same thing. The paradox starts with spellings. We can “colour” a painting or “color” the world with hues, we can be a part of an “organization” or we can be a member of an “organization” as well. Of course, the power to discriminate and choose is in our hands, which is an exciting concept for any student. It is our prerogative which spelling we choose to implement. No power in the world can point out that we misspelled the word. It definitely decentralizes the power of education and grants a miniscule portion of that power into the hands of the students. I suppose it is not a bad concept considering the aforementioned. On the other hand, psychologically speaking, it has a negative impact on the people. Innumerable choices spoil the piety of the language. Unconsciously, we use both the Queen’s English and its American dialect interchangeably, intermixing and entwining both inseparably. Sorry for the orthodoxy, if it may sound that way, but the sheer elegance of English is lost by the chutnification.
Another platform providing a vast scope for the successful growth of this paradox has been pronunciation. The accent of Americans is immensely different from that of the British. The British pronounce every single syllable in the word, even the terminating sound of “r” in “center”. The British defy lethargy when it comes to pronunciation. The integration of glides in the pronunciation provides a touch of elegance and grace to the language. The Queen’s English is mellifluous, soothing to the ears. On the other hand, the American way is built around convenience. The Americans are firm believers in abolishing the needless. As a consequence, there are a lot of letters which are present in writing but which never make it to the tongue. The terminating “r” is invariably dropped from pronunciation, as in “center”. This gives a raw appeal to the American way of pronunciation. It might not be elegant and graceful, but it surely hits a few chords. Thus far, I have had no qualms in admitting the importance of both the British and the American way of doing things. But, in the whole process, the most critical point is not obvious. The most important fact which can be derived out of it is- where is the Indian way of doing it? In choosing between the US and the UK, we have lost our own identities. Why do we blindly chase the two superpowers, instead of carving a niche for ourselves? The answer to that is quite obvious. The maximum employment opportunity for the Indian workforce is provided by companies based in US or Europe. So, to follow the rule of “When in Rome, do what Romans do”, we vigorously try to mould ourselves to suit the cast defined by the Americans or the British. In the process of trimming ourselves to suit these Multi-National Companies (better known as MNCs), we are gradually whittling ourselves away.
Perhaps, the phenomenon of defining dialects of English depends on the status of the nation. Two superpowers of the world have their dialects of English, we do not. So, today, in a spate of patriotism, I hope that someday we will have an Indian English too, an Indian way of pronouncing words and an Indian way of spelling words too. Maybe we will be able to spell “organization” as “organizashun” someday. That will be the day when the tricolor will sprawl across the horizon.

India- politics and beyond

Indian politics, as we perceive it today, is the graveyard of morals, ethics, patriotism and most other qualities the leaders of a nation should possess. There have been innumerable uproars on the issue of tainted ministers at the state and national level. Politics been coupled inseparably with the adjective ‘dirty’. Most politicians of the nation misuse their authority to exploit the nation and fill their own pockets with enormous sums of money. The possession of the chair is perhaps the top priority of most politicians of India today. They indulge in blame games and create unprecedented scandals in the after math of these political games. The image of politicians has gone from bad to worse in the recent years following mammothian revelations regarding the corruption. The pious field of leadership has received several blotches which are certainly indelible. The worst part of the whole scenario of Indian politics was that nobody was ready to volunteer to make a change which was much needed. Nobody stepped forward to clean the machinery that fuelled, propelled and guided the whole nation. The intellectuals and moral policemen derived pleasure in only finding flaws with the system and blaming the politicians for the sorry state of affairs. We, the Indians, had forgotten that the best way to bring about changes is by setting examples. Patriotism had taken a back-seat in our daily life as selfish individualistic, communal and regional interests surfaced at the foreground, forming the core of our daily actions and thoughts.
Though the darkness of corruption and immorality still lingers in the world of politics, a new dawn has broken. A new breed of politicians has come to fore. These young and dynamic politicians represent the countenance of the new India. They represent what the new generation of Indians is like- confident, patriotic, self-less and aggressive. Though the number of such people is considerably small, they have made indentations in the field which was thought to be impenetrable for the people who really desired to lead the way for other Indians. These people have shown the way which thousands, or maybe millions, of Indians will follow in the near future. More importantly, these people have shown that the state of Indian politics can change only if the responsible citizens of India decide to sacrifice their white-collar jobs, their personal interests and all bonds which tie them down to the materialistic world and dedicate themselves fully to this noble cause. They have highlighted the golden rule that actions always speak louder than words. These people acted upon their inner call. They had the courage to carry out the ideas they had in their mind, despite the fact that they faced numerous hurdles in the process.
Inspired by these zealous young men and troubled by the condition of the Indian politics, a leading newspaper has launched a hunt for the most able leader of India. The hunt is labeled “Lead India” contest by the organizers. The people who have been short-listed so far promise to be efficient leaders with a strong conscience and responsible shoulders to carry the burden of the nation effectively. The idea of this contest is innovative as well as much needed considering the current times. Able leaders have been a rarity in the recent times. If one person out of a county of one billion gets an opportunity to move to the top of the current political system and have his say in the decisions of the nation, then it will definitely inspire and guide many more people to tread the same path. There is no deficiency of zeal in the youngsters of today, neither do they lack courage. The only problem with the current generation is that they do not know the correct way to follow. This contest will open up new doors and expand the vista of opportunities for the young men. The energy contained within the new generation of Indians can be tapped in the right direction with this innovative step. A simple contest to search a person who has the potential to become an eminent leader in the near future might seem to be too small a step in context with something as enormous as the Indian politics, but it is a step nonetheless. It might not have immediate impact on the politics but in the long run, the ramifications of this contest might be huge. Hopefully, the consequences of this contest will be positive. Despite all the positives that might come out of this contest, there is a certain risk factor involved in it. There is no guarantee that the person chosen after such a rigorous selection process will get a chance to contest elections at the national level. The person who is supposed to lead India and shine like a star in the dark sphere of politics might very well be lost in oblivion with time. The fate of the chosen one can be similar to many people, even alumni of IITs and IIMs, who gave up all pleasures to serve the nation by joining politics but ended up being restricted to being just another inconspicuous political party with a disappointingly small number of members. This question cannot be answered at this point of time. At this point, all we can hope is that this contest proves to be a milestone in the growth of Indian politics.
One of the most obvious facts of the contemporary world is that India needs another revolution to transfer the control of authority on the nation from the throes of corrupt politicians to the hands of the people who think of India as their motherland. If “Lead India” contest is a spark that can change into a revolution in the near future, then we must support it with all our might. If not, then we must conjure up all the courage we can and take steps which can hit the current politics hard and create an impact which can alter many things in the long run. We are the people who are responsible for the nation and its politics. It is up to us what we decide to do with our nation. We can stand at the sides and watch the country self-destruct or we can lend a helping hand in re-constructing the golden bird which had lost its shine over a long period of subjugation. It is our decision, this is our nation.

Music Beyond Lines

Music is one fragment of our social life that is able to trascend boundaries, cultures, languages and races. Music has no nationality and no distinctive characteristics. Musical notes never discriminate between the ears of the poor and the rich, the old and the young, male and female. Mellifluous sounds shower equal bliss on all, sans disparity and bias.
Recently, I witnessed a talent hunt show which was searching for India's best rock band. The band that eventually emerged the winner was nowhere near to what Indian music is about. The band was more on par with the Western rock bands which still find it hard to make a mark in this country of 107 crore. The band is more about international sounds- hard rock, heavy metal, alternative rock and electronica. As good as the band maybe, they do not conform with the image that the global audience has about Indian Music. Even a dumb person can feel the pulse of the global audience by just listening to Steven Tyler of Aerosmith talking about Indian Rock scene. His reaction was that "Indian Rock music is very colorful". And yet, this supposedly best rock band of India is nowhere near to Steven Tyler's expectations.
The emergence of myriads of hard rock and heavy metals bands in India suggests that the sounds which please the Indian ears are changing. It is not out of will that the music produced by bands and even by music directors in Bollywood movies is changing, but it is the sheer competition with the Western artists which has forced them to adopt to the global scenario. the youth of India, like the youth of most other nations, wishes to experience the rush of adrenaline in their veins and one of the ways to do it is to head-bang to hard rock music. Not just hard-rock, even hip-hop has made a large audience base in India with the likes of Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado and Timbaland becoming major youth icons. Gradually, Indian music is changing to conform with global benchmarks and acceptance.
On the other hand, a totally different genre of music has developed just across the border in Pakistan. The rock bands from Pakistan stuck to originality and creativity to produce a music that bears Sufi notes, Urdu lyrics and the feeling of rock. This genre eventually came to be known as Sufi Rock or Pakistani Rock. Bands like Junoon, Jal and Strings made a major impact on the music scenario across Asia, if not the world, with their songs. With their success, a whole new breed of bands emerged in the city of lights, Karachi. The music produced there is in total contrast to what Indian Rock Music is about. Sometimes, it is hard to imagine that such distinct genres of music can emerge contemporarily in neighbouring countries. Perhaps this is the difference of mentality. Pakistanis are more adamant about sticking to their roots while Indians still follow the colonial approach of "the West is always right".

6 Decades to Today- problems and achievements

15th August, 1947... this day in history is marked by the birth of a country which changed the economic, social, cultural, political, financial and medical scenario of the entire world. This was the day that India gained independance from the excruciating oppression of the British. Mahatma Gandhi, Pt. Nehru, Subash Chandra Bose, Azad, Bhagat Singh and myriads of other patriotic beings demolished the strangle-hold of the viceroy and the Queen on India to win back a country which, at some point in history, was superior to all other nations. That was perhaps the time when 'India Shining' would have been used aptly to define the condition of the our motherland. At the time of independance, the problems faced by India were different. The main concern of the authorities was to lay the very foundation of a newly born country. Attempts were made, steps were taken to stablize a nation that had been blinded in the darkness of subjugation for an era. This is the same blindness a person comes across when he walks from darkness into the light suddenly. India, as a country, did not know how to stand up for itself. Primal instincts were not enough to construct a nation out of states. The 'Iron Man of India', Sardar Patel, did a wonderful job of uniting all the states to give India the basic physical framework that it needed.
Knowingly or unknowingly, Sardar Patel assembled a state that had wide variation in geography, topography, cultures, languages and races. Anyone who is even remotely connected to India knows the diversity that India enjoys as a country is immense. But the whole concept of 'Unity in Diversity' came into existence when the shadow of war loomed up over the country. The wars against our "friendly" neighbours conjured up an internal strength that very few countries in the world are able to gather in the face of strife. Not only the wars, but in recent times, even terrorist attacks and anti-national events have showed that though the Indians are maturing, the innate patriotism still survives deep within the souls of everyone here.
Six decades on, India has a different face, a different image and a different attitude. We are no longer a nation that is meak and tamable. With the recent BPO, IT and economic boom, India has shown signs that it is maturing as a country. Indians are no longer confined within the boundaries of a single nation. The true face of Indians is global. They inhabit every inhabitable part of the world. Indians have emerged as one of the most intelligent, sincere and laborious races across the globe. The economy of not only India, but also of many other nations, and probably of the whole world, depends on Indians. And that is NOT an achievement. It is a problem-the worst one we are facing. It is referred to as brain drain by the most learned people. If these Indians, who run all the major IT firms across the world, who treat illness all over Europe, who while away their nights sitting in crammed spaces of BPOs with a headset glued to them, worked for the betterment of the Indian economy itself, then I am sure India would have been at a much better place after these 60 years. India would not have been a 'third world country' or a 'developing economy' or a 'young economic giant'. If these people had contributed, India, today, would have stood shoulder-to-shoulder with the top five economies of the world.
Who is to be blamed for this? Everyone. Each and everyone who is an Indian... you, me, your neighbour, the person across the street, my driver, MLAs, MPs, CMs of various states, Prime Minister, President... everyone of them. It is a defect of the mentality of the people and also circumstances. all fo us think about one thing in life- money. Subsequently, we go into fields which yield the maximum income for us. We get degrees in management or engineering or medicine and we seek a job. Indian firms are not able to pay us too much and government sector has almost reached the saturation point. So, the greener pastures towards the Western World beckon and we follow our selfish instincts. But have we ever thought what is the situation of research in India? We have to buy new technologies from other countries. We cannot build our own defense equipments, we cannot upgrade them and we cannot even repair the equipments bought from other countries. Apart from research, the other most important field that has got the cold shoulder by the citizens is politics. We all know the political scenario of the nation. Most of our decision-makers are people whose character is blotted, who rely on shrewd means to maintain their position, who are not concerned about the nation, but about their own 'chair'. Their inconsiderate attitude towards the nation is a sign of treason and their very existence and behaviour is more or less equivalent to termites because they eventually hollow out the very home in which they reside. Everyone is aware of this, but nobody is willing to rely on deeds to fulfill time's needs. Nobody is willing to dirty his hands for the sake of cleaning the system. Trying to alter the political scenario from outside is fruitless. It is equivalent to throwing glucose on a person when it should be injected into his veins. This problem is much more deep-rooted than any other.
Changes have to be brought in this country... radical or eventual is for us to decide. There is always the Gandhian way to rebellion and there is the Bose-ian way to it as well. The path we choose to tread is our prerogative. But we need to choose because the destiny of a whole nation is lying helpless before us. We need to act, we need to wake up to this call. We all need to choose our paths...and walk!